Page 32 - Excerpts from the diary

19.01.1945
During the march the company commander and Lieutenant Shitikov, without saying anything to anyone, went off to a private lodging
where their orderlies prepared dinner and breakfast for them and where they rested well, returning to the unit only before dawn. Yet when
disorder occurred in other platoons, the captain began accusing me and abusing me, although before leaving he had not put me in charge
and had not even informed me that he was going.

When my orderly, Corporal Nakonechny, obtained a gold watch, he presented it to the company commander and from then on became his
sycophant—hovering around him, looking for cigarettes, [...]. Throughout the march he never once asked my permission to leave.
Whenever I reprimanded him, he referred to the company commander’s permission, and the company commander repeatedly defended
him. As a result he ceased to take me into account at all and changed from a disciplined soldier into an angry and malicious violator of
discipline.

More than once I heard him say that my orders meant nothing because the company commander would easily and unquestionably cancel
them. A few days ago, when I temporarily transferred Nakonechny to the 1st Platoon and later demanded him back because I needed him,
Lieutenant Kanonenko refused to return him. Nakonechny told me: “If Kanonenko said so, that is how it will be. Your word is an empty
phrase.”

Once, when Beresnev and Nakonechny began pestering passing soldiers and calling them undeservedly obscene names, I forbade them to
continue and explained how vulgar and ill-mannered their behavior was. But Nakonechny, and then Beresnev, mocking my remarks,
began competing with each other in insulting every Red Army man they met. I reported it to the company commander, but in the presence
of Nakonechny and Beresnev he merely laughed. Since then these soldiers have not stopped their vulgar shouting and use it especially
persistently in my presence.

For example:

“Beresnev!” Nakonechny shouts.

“What?”

“Take my d—!”

“Nakonechny!” Beresnev calls.

“Well?”

“I’ll bend my d—!” and so on.

That is how the company commander has contributed to the breakdown of discipline in the platoon, and in particular to the undermining
of my authority.

It reached the point where, in front of the soldiers, Captain Rysev began calling me obscene names on every occasion and for no reason at
all, as well as “fool.” He said that any soldier could command a platoon better than I could, that I was not an officer but shit, and that in
the first battle he would shoot me, and so on.

After him Lieutenant Kanonenko began threatening me with execution. In the presence of soldiers he called me equally obscene names
and then started claiming that earlier I had “worked as chief of the clothing and supply service and had not fought for shit.” Then things
went further. Once pots and jugs thrown by a drunken Kanonenko came flying toward me. Another time he drew his revolver and began
twirling it in front of my face. A third time Kanonenko began shooting inside the room, just to the left of where I was sitting. And
whenever Kanonenko was drunk, I seemed to be his favorite target.

The company commander, it is true, also repeatedly suffered from Kanonenko. But he [...]

30.01.1945
They do not let us rest. Today we arrived here at five o’clock, and reveille was at seven; we had only just managed to organize supper
when our rest was over. There is no one to resent, of course. Every step we take has enormous historical significance. That is why there is
no time to think about rest.

The inhabitants are terribly frightened. When we arrived they all raised their hands and asked fearfully, “Alles kaputt? Alles kaputt?” A
revolution has taken place in their lives; everything necessary is being taken from them. The luxury of their surroundings is indescribable,
the wealth and elegance of all their possessions extraordinary. Now our Slavs too have finally got their hands on it!

No one forbids anyone to take from the Germans or destroy what they previously stole from us. I am very pleased with the course of
events. The only thing I dislike is the reckless behavior of Captain Rysev and, especially, Kanonenko. Yesterday, for example, Rysev
smashed a bust of Schiller and would have destroyed Goethe as well if I had not torn it from the madman’s hands and hidden it, wrapped
in rags. German geniuses must not be equated with barbarians and their memory destroyed. For a cultured person that is a great sin and a
disgrace.

Kanonenko is an idiot in the most literal sense. Today, and perhaps every day, he drinks himself unconscious. When drunk, he starts firing