Page 42 - Excerpts from the diary

legs, I undressed, laid down and when only concerned her secret intimate, current was switched off. To me it was
terrible, I reddened and was frightened to impossibility. «Help me to include electricity and to let it to
network» She would be glad to help, but understood that not it depended on her and helplessly made a helpless
gesture. I grew weak from nervous shock. Having read so many the warning books, considered himself
irrevocably died for sex life. She looked surprised and did not understand. Suddenly to me the thought each other
two opposite charges came to try to touch and move. I touched with one charge proceeding from me another and
several times repeated the procedure. Suddenly current went, struck exactly and rushed from me to it. How many
times I switched electricity stream, I do not remember.
She considered 13, 14, 15. On 16 when she already absolutely began to choke, having put long before it both legs
on shoulders to me, I regretted her and stopped. Again examined her all from legs to the head. The small little
body bitten, scratched till it bleeds, with the breasts which are not quite developed, but already hanging down
from top to bottom and slippery, as a snail, breaking up to two lips involving in themselves, a subject.
At a door were knocked. The female voice asked to open in Russian. I suggested the German to put on and
advised to hurry. She was very bright and in a minute was ready. However, I still did not put on and therefore did
not open. The knock stopped, but soon repeated again. Opened. The cook called to have dinner. The German,
when I frankly told her the reason of appearance of the cook and his hospitality, refused food, though was very
hungry, 'I cannot give all, it is not good, let better I will remain hungry'. I like it [...]

10.17.1945

17:00 on the Berlin time. At the top of the German Column of the Victory. All Berlin is visible. The center from a
column green gardens, then buildings. Narrow streets, only twothree wide. Ruins of the city are ugly.
The trellised bronze barrier bends around a pedestal on which 'Victory' in an image of the woman with a laurel
wreath in the hand raised up was widely unwrapped.

Long looked for on pockets something suitable for an inscription on a wall as a sign of visit of this place and did
not find. Then paid attention to someone's scratches in English which are brightly allocated on the bronze which
already turned black from above. And I had an idea a knife!
Passed not less than an hour, and I made out the inscription. One more person rose by a balcony, looked,
bypassed around and made comparison with Moscow, threw the remark which is not deprived of a poetry about
my bedraggle and went down. I wrote everything. At last did not bear. Guided something more feasibly, aside
attributed a surname, hid a knife, paper, and, having darted the last glance at the city bared to a limit by ruins,
became on an exit. Lift out of order. It was necessary to touch legs and if rise tired, then descent was intolerable,
it is far more burdensome that I almost jumped out from the last step, ran.
On Alexander Platz arrived when already began to darken. The market of 'der Schwarzer Mark' as it is called by
Germans, did not thin. People fussed and pushed. Air whistles of the German police officers, shouts of running
people awoke, the English and American cars hooted and everywhere people in a Red Army form and a red
bandage on a sleeve where brightly rushed in eyes of 'KN' scurried about.
Resolutely there came the darkness, and day reluctantly hid in the grayish size of the horizon. People drearily
glanced at faintly flickering stars which just arose before eyes and left. Time when 'tourists' and 'pilgrims' on
Alexander Platz, having much sated it with delights, parted across all Berlin came and it is far out of its limits,
home.
Now Germans did not find sale to the goods and sold cheap. I remained in the square, even when trains did not
begin to go to the subway and when the dark, autumn sky, to satiety got drunk stars.
For 250 marks bought "Rasier Apparat" (shaving electric device), cheap got two pairs of women's shoes (for 100
and 200) I will send to mother. Cheap gave for women's dresses. But with a coat I was inflated. In the morning
when I looked narrowly at it attentively, it turned out all full of holes, so, that even you will not make trousers of
it.
In 22 returned on Vaysen Zee.